**Щоденник Олени Степанівни**
Я вийшла заміж пізно, як казала мама, – у тридцять один рік. Хоча зовнішність мала непогану: сірі очі, каштанове хвилясте волосся до плечей, привітна усмішка.
«Треба було раніше чоловіка шукати, а ти все вчилася та скромно себе вела. А твої подружки найкращих женихів собі знайшли, – бурчала Ганна Петрівна, моя мама. – А тепер що лишилося, те й підбирай. Не подобається мені твій залицяльник Василь. Уродженець простих, батьки з села, а гонору – хоч відбавляй… Що це таке?»
Василь справді мав складний характер: владний, зарозумілий, нестерпний до чужих помилок. Але це з’ясувалося, коли я вже вийшла за нього. Спочатку він тримався, гарно залицявся, дарував квіти й був уважним.
А коли перше романтичне подружнє життя минуло, чоловік почав показувати вдачу: зухвало робив мені зауваження з будь-якого приводу, навіть не думаючи, що строгим повчальним тоном може образити. Але я старалася, хотіла зберегти сім’ю, слухалася чоловіка, працювала в проєктному інституті, мала повагу на роботі, вдома все встигала, а Василь лише хмурився і зганяв на мені свій поганий настрій.
Народився в нас Тарасик, і коли хлопчик почав хворіти й не спати ночами, Василь зовсім віддалився, йшов ночувати в другу кімнату, щоби його не турбували.
Коли Тарасові було чотири роки, ми розлучилися. Я, втомлена від чоловікової вдачі, зважилася одна виховувати сина, а Василь із легкістю, яка ранила мене найбільше, погодився на розлучення. Як виявилося пізніше, в нього вже було до кого піти. На щастя, він швидко перебрався з другою дружиною до Львова, і мені стало легше: принаймні не мала шансу зустріти свого колишнього на вулиці… Усю свою ніжність я віддавала єдиному Тарасикові.
«Олено, – не раз говорила мама, – ти ще молода, симпатична, вийшла б заміж чи хоча б якогось друга знайшла для себе…» Але я не слухала Ганну Петрівну й старанно працювала, щоб забезпечити сина всім необхідним. Економила на всьому, аби накопичити Тарасові на навчання, на весілля, собі відмовляла в усьому. Аліменти від чоловіка були мізерними – триста гривень на місяць.
Тарас pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic pic picІ з того часу щовечора, проводжаючи онучок додому, Олена Степанівна дивилась на їхні маленькі сліди на снігу й думала про те, що життя, попри все, подарувало їй справжнє щастя — бути потрібною тим, кого любиш.
